Everybody Hates The Mayor

Official Statement from The Mayor of FedEx Field

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:55:00 +0000

The DTC has been made aware of the new changes to tailgating at FedEx Field for the 2009 NFL Season.

At this time, we believe the DTC Tailgate will be unaffected by these changes, and the DTC has every intention of continuing to throw the biggest, baddest and loudest tailgate in the parking lot.

Some tailgates will be affected however, and the DTC fully supports those groups and is asking that everyone that attends the DTC tailgate, any Redskins tailgate, or any tailgate period sign the following online petition.

www.savetailgating.com

While I don't think the Redskins have intended to disrupt any organized tailgate on purpose, their new rules clearly affect m
ultiple organized tailgates.

So please help your fellow Redskin fans out with this!

Thank you in advance!

The Mayor of FedEx Field
www.deadtreecrew.com

The Mayor is up for an award...........

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:36:00 +0000

A few weeks ago, I renamed my blog to Everybody Hates the Mayor. Apparently for good reason.

Yesterday I was emailed a link to some Denver area blog that decided I was the front runner for an upcoming award.

Yes NFL fans. I have been nominated for "Most Douchiest Douchebag award" for 2008.

This by world renowned blogger, Joe Tone. Never heard of him? Join the club. He writes for Westword. What was that? You haven't heard of that either? You just joined 2 clubs today!

Obviously he has a loyal reader base, and when I say loyal reader base, I mean Internet nobodies that know who I am and what the DTC is.

Yep. The same commenters that are telling me, I never miss "a mention of myself" but seem to also never miss a mention of myself. How ironic.

But hey. I might win an award. This is cause for celebration.

Break out the high quality chronic, the cheap liquor and the Oxycontin.

DTC Tracks: That's the Captains

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 15:25:00 +0000

The year was 2005. The Washington Redskins had a busy off season adding such future stars as Santana Moss and Jason Campbell, the Dead Tree Crew was hard at work in the studio laying down some DTC tracks.

While you probably have heard Hit a Motherfucking Eagle Fan, Welcome to FedEx and D.T.C, there are about 7 solid tracks that never were released. Thought to be lost and never recovered due to the CEO's laptop crashing, such never before hits as Parking Lot Kings, That's the Captains, The Mayor Song, Zonin and the Zonin Remix were just memories.

Until today.

While getting prepared for the 2008 tailgating season, the President and myself stumbled across 3 unlabeled Cd's.

We immediately knew what was found.

So today, I release a track written and performed by the CEO, titled, That's the Captains and paired it up with picture of said DTC Captains.

So turn your speakers up and press play.

Next up for release, The Mayor Song.

And yes. The Mayor Song is Level 10 Gangster.

Interview with The Mayor of FedEx Field

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:02:00 +0000

No. I didn't interview myself, but Dave from Tailgating Ideas did.

Dave called me while the DTC was invading Canton a few weeks back.

Pretty in depth. Take a look here.

Tailgating Ideas is a must read for any tailgater. He is always up to date in everything tailgate related.

Whether it's the latest and greatest tailgate gadget, or tailgate humor, it is probably the greatest blog about tailgating.

While you are on his site, be sure to check out the 14 most annoying tailgaters, and the follow up with 10 more annoying tailgaters. Hilarious, yet accurate!

Top Three Redskin Hats of All-Time

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:42:00 +0000

In case you missed it, Jamie Mottram over at Mr. I found a lost treasure the other day. An original Hogs hat, circa 1985.

Clearly the most gangster hate ever made, I pointed out another gangster hat. The Art Monk Football Camp hat (worn below by The Head Coach of the DTC in Canton, Ohio)

Seeing these hats, both from the 80's, and both 100% nylon mesh, I remembered that I too had a gangster mesh hat from the 80's. Behold the 1983 Super Bowl hat.

25 years old and just like new. They don't make hats like this anymore. Sure, fitteds are hot, but nothing lets your dome piece breath like nylon mesh.

Name change..........

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 20:20:00 +0000

I thought naming my blog The FedEx Field Fuhrer was clever.

Some people just didnt think so.

I still have a big ego. I still love how awesome I am. Just no more Fuhrer.

In the mean time, im letting YOU, my 17 loyal readers decide what the new name is going to be.

Drop them in the comments section.

Blogging aint easy peeps.

UPDATE: Thanks to some kid I just bought some weed from, the new name of my blog is, Everybody Hates the Mayor. Good job pot head.

It ain't nothing but a DTC Gangster Party

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:38:00 +0000

We came. We conquered. And once again, we proved that there ain't nothing like a DTC Gangster Party!

The DTC has landed in Canton

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:55:00 +0000

Greetings from the lovely Canton Ohio, it's The Mayor of FedEx Field, and this is my first of many blog entries during the HOF festivities.

We left at 10:30 this morning, and arrived here, at the Comfort Inn in Canton at 4.

Not a bad trip at all, as we got here pretty much without hitting any traffic.

I thought I saw Brian Mitchell, but it was a false alarm, but I really did see the Redskin Cheerleaders, as they are staying here as well.

Getting ready to head to Buffalo Wild Wings down the street, hopefully I will have some better material, as this town is pretty fucking boring.

But you know us, the DTC is about to get gangster in Canton.

A DTC first: Cone bongs inside

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:55:00 +0000

The last time I posted, I said we were going to get things started, and started we did. Canton Ohio got its first taste of the DTC as we and another 100 Redskin fans celebrated the upcoming HOF inductions of Redskin legends Art Monk and Darrell Green. I could go into details, but I better the the pictures below tell the story.

Getting ready to "hit the hay", but count on the DTC to continue Redskin madness bright and early Saturday morning.

I will post more pics later when I get the time, but keep checking out the blog for steady updates!

Last time the DTC was at FedEx Field....

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:16:00 +0000

December 30th 2007 is a day that will live in infamy. The Washington Redskins controled their own destiny. The hated Dallas Cowboys were in town. Along with them, their whack ass bandwagon fans.

Did I mention HBO was with the DTC since 8 AM? Yeah. HBO was with the DTC since 8 AM and 2 bottles (2 BOTTLES!) of Crown Royal have been sitting on the ground empty since 10:30.

It was a cold and nasty day. 30 degrees and sleeting, but the DTC stepped it up on the lot. With HBO and an independent film maker video taping our every move, we proved who runs FedEx Field preventing Cowboy fans from not only parking in F-51, but as video evidence shows below, even driving through F-51.

I will steal a line from my main man Warner Wolf.

Let's go to the video tape

40 minutes after this incident, the driver and a few of his buddies came back.

One megaphone was harmed while making that video.

UPDATE: If you wanted to see Redskin fans make breakfast with Chris Pauls Redskins rap tracks in the background. Today is your lucky day.

Happy birthday!

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:17:00 +0000

Happy belated birthday to Hit a Muthafukking Eagle Fan, the music video!

Produced, directed and starring the CEO along with myself, this video has not only gained Redskin and Eagle fans attention, but went world wide when former editor Will Leitch on Deadspin decided he wanted to get into the DTC business.

2 years and about 30,000 views later, haters are still hating and, the DTC is still punching Eagle fans.

With a big season on the horizon, look for more big things from the DTC.

This Sunday we will be at Training Camp, and August 1st through the 4th we will be in Canton, Ohio welcoming Art Monk and Darrell Green into the Hall of Fame. We will also be kicking off the 2008 NFL tailgating season when the Redskins take on the Colts in the Hall of Fame Game.

And I will be live blogging the entire trip!

Chris Cooley is gangster

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:41:00 +0000

Chris Cooley, Pro Bowl Tight End of the Washington Redskins is bringing his gangster status up at record speeds. As probably the most fan friendly athlete Washington has ever seen, Chris and his brother Tanner have just solidified that status with this.

Now. In my opinion, the second prize a signed replithentic Chris Cooley jersey is of better value than the first prize, 2 tickets to the Bills/Redskins preseason game. I usually give my preseason tickets to the local church or to my friends.

But since Chris has left the females out of the contest, the DTC is going to step up and offer 2 of our preseason tickets to the hottest female with a fake beard. That's right ladies, find a fake beard, tape it on your face, get your equally hot friend to do the same, take pictures of yourself, e-mail them to mayor@deadtreecrew.com and you both could go to the game!

Pretty easy. Me and The President will pick a few favorites and post them on this blog for everyone to vote.

Second prize is nothing. So ovaries to the wall!

Should I hate him?

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:24:00 +0000

The King of Dan Snyder Haters, Dave McKenna has written a blog about yours truly.

My first thought was, lets take it to the blog.

My second thought was, lets take it to the street.

But after careful consideration, he and I share the same hatred for Extremeskins and the retards that post on it.

So I can't hate him after all.

But the Mayor has a message for you Dave.

You ain't no daisy.

A sit down with The President of the DTC

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:39:00 +0000

One of the 3 co-founders of the Dead Tree Crew, a pillar of the Redskins tailgating community, my partner in crime, and just an all around awesome person, I sit down with the President of the DTC and ask the questions everyone wants the answers to.

Why do they call you the President?

First Mayor, I would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy day to provide this insight to our fans.

Why am I the President? Well simply because I run shit. Where ever I got it's my show, when I show up I am now in charge!

What’s up with the bullet proof vest?

Well as you well know there is no Vice President of the DTC, therefore I can’t have some Eagle fan assassinate your boy. But in case anything ever goes down you know I have my dog tags on as well.

How many people over the age of 60 have you punched in the face? Why?

Well I can’t say that they were over 60, just like I don’t check ID when hooking up with some young bitch, I don’t check ID when I punch old people in the face, but I have definitely punched a hand full of old people in my life time. Oh and why you ask? Well old people need to be put in line too.

You have an obvious penchant for thievery, name some things you have taken without permission.

Well many fathers would say I stole their daughter’s virginity, but what the fuck do they know. Other than that you can always see the Moss Rd. street sign at our DTC Tailgates, and that doesn’t belong to me, hell I don’t even live on that street. Oh and I can’t forget the numerous golf carts that have been taking for a joy ride as well.

Last season you knocked out an Eagle fan inside the stadium, then threw his girlfriend down the ramp. Is that your all time favorite stadium moment? What is?

Thinking about the Eagle fan dropping like a sack of potatoes always brings a smile to my face, but that is not my favorite. A few years back the Skins were playing the Giants. I arrived at my seat right at kick off. At this time the G-men got off a pretty good kick return. A Giant fan behind me was celebrating as if it was Super Bowl 25 and Scott Norwood just missed the kick wide right. I informed the gentlemen that it was a long game; the giants had the ball at their own 40 and to take it down a notch. I am unable to recall his words at this time but he certainly challenged my authority, but before I could get a word in edge wise he pointed out his son was with him and I need to be respectful. I told him one more outburst like he had earlier I would come over there and use his son as a bat and beat him with his own son. Minutes later Fed-Ex Field Security asked me to get up out of my seat and come with them. We walked in to the corridor and they told me I could be thrown out for acting up. I assured them they would be no more problems. As I returned to my seat, the two female friends I was with were relieved to see I was not thrown out, but informed me that the Giant fan was talking shit after they took me out. I still kept my cool, until the Giants were punting and it was some what quiet in our section, this guy called me "boy" and then asked what security had to say. I told him “they told me to tell you to shut the fuck up”. At this point my fellow Redskins fans also began to give him a verbal lashing. I guess his son learned who really runs shit…me.

You have been anointed a Certified Level 10 Gangster. Care to explain?

In all honesty, there is no explanation needed. Real recognizes real. If you too are as gangster as us then you will know what the fuck I am talking about. Certified Level 10 Gangster sure has a great ring to it though!

Every season, you seem to “kick it up a notch”, What’s in store for this season?

Well there are always additions but at this point there is not too much that I can reveal. Some of our best moves are made last minute, so I am sure we will think of things in the weeks leading up the season, and I don’t want to spoil the surprise either, but rest assured, new rap tracks, new color schemes for the cone, new banners will all make an appearance at F-51 this season.

And last question. Denim or mesh?

Oh, I’m a denim guy, but my favorite shorts to date are the burgundy velour shorts I wore a few years ago. Those were fucking gangster.

If you are dying to know more about The President, check out his MySpace page, or e-mail him at President@deadtreecrew.com

Chris Cooley has made some enemies

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:09:00 +0000

I guess when you a 20 something millionaire, a Pro Bowl Tight End, and just married a cheerleader, haters are going to pop up left and right.

NFL Juice, a blog that gets less hits than mine seems to be leading this hater revolution.

Never heard of NFL Juice? Join the club.

At first glance, its a definite knock off of KSK. But at second glance, they seem to be selling t-shirts as well. In case he didn't know, the Mottram Brothers run the T-shirt racket in this town.

After my third and last glance, the author is a total douche bag. I get it. You hate Chris Cooley because he is better than you in ever category.

And that includes blogging.

Santa Claus moved to Leesburg

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 23:32:00 +0000

Meet Merton Albert Meade. He just moved down the street from me. And when I say moved, I probably should specify.

Mr. Meade is a registered sex offender. With 10 seperate counts of Indecent Liberties with Children "Mert", is sitting in the brand new jail in Leesburg.

If I had to guess, I would say this gentleman used a Santa Claus suit to trick kids in sucking on his flesh colored candy cane.

For the record, I hate sex offenders. I have had one fired from my work last week, now I search this site daily. Colt Brennan watch out!

UPDATE: Bonus sex offender pic, just because this guy should be on the cover of Sex Offender Illustrated.

UPDATE 2: DAMN!

UPDATE 3: I really could do this all day, but I promise this is the last one. The next time your're in Fairfax City, stop by the local Panera, and make sure you meet Sugarfoot Smith.

I think they like us

mayor@deadtreecrew.com (The Mayor of FedEx Field) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:36:00 +0000

There is no offseason for the DTC, thus there is no offseason for the haters of the DTC.

Probably the greatest picture taken of the DTC Captains, and probably the greatest Photoshop of the DTC Captains. I think it is safe to say, "Jacs" stands for jacks off, because anyone that spends that much time photoshopping the DTC, cannot possibly have ever seen a vagina in person.

More "masterpieces" after the jump

This picture is awesome. The only thing that could make it more awesome, is if I was wearing that red, white, and blue glitter suite myself, and Richard Simmons was wearing the Presidents bullet proof vest.

And I will end it with my all time favorite. A combination of a Redskins victory in Philly, the resurgance of Hit a Motherfucking Eagle fan, and Dan Steinberg visiting us for the first time brought out the best in Philly!

DEAD TREE GROUP??!!! saw ZERO Eagle fans step on F-51 pavement. One Eagle fan disputes this claim however.